You can get used to anything, so watch your habits carefully

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By Josh Hanagarne, World’s Strongest Librarian

Sarah’s recent post about self-harm moved me in ways that surprised me.  This is saying something, because I’m not easily surprised these days.  My own body does things that would surprise you, but I’ve gotten used to it.

You can get used to anything, believe me.

A stroll in the nation’s capitol

About 10 years ago I was walking down the street in Washington D.C. in the middle of a crowd.  Suddenly I punched myself in the face as hard as I could.  The people around me gasped.

They weren’t nearly as surprised as I was. It hurt like hell and scared me to death.  I had no idea what was going on.

Rewind

I was diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome in 9^th grade.  My earliest symptoms arrived much earlier at the age of six.  After the diagnosis, the disorder was not much more than a nuisance—I’d blink my eyes a lot, clear my throat every few seconds, and just twitch a lot in general.

Tourette’s varies a lot from case to case, but essentially it makes you either:

1. move involuntarily
2. vocalize involuntarily

Up until that first crushing uppercut in D.C., it had just been another quirky thing about me.

Suddenly it was dangerous.

Symptoms

I didn’t stop hitting myself.  I also started screaming every 2-3 seconds with all the force possible.  I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t stop it.  One morning I looked down in the shower and saw a bulge the size of a tennis ball protruding from the crease of my hip.

That’s my intestine, I thought.  I was right.  All the screaming had caused a hernia.  Oh boy oh boy oh boy what now?

Broken noses and dislocated fingers popped up occasionally over the next ten years.  I watched all of this happening to my body, because of my brain.   But at the same time, it was like an out of body experience.  I would look at myself in the mirror and recognize my eyes, my shape, my structure—but not the things that were happening to me.

I wasn’t causing the symptoms.  I had no control over the vehicle that carries my brain around.

Onward

But you can get used to anything.  I did.  I got used to hurting myself and occasionally finding a workaround that helped, becoming a very happy person in the process.  We are resilient beings if we want to be.

There is a downside to our resilience, however.  Our actions and outlooks become habits.  My symptoms depressed me so I got in the routine of being depressed.  My self-consciousness made it hard to be in public, so I got used to being lonely.  I had no hope, and before long I was hopeless by habit.

Our bodies and our minds betray us all the time. That’s why life is difficult. But humans are unique in the animal kingdom because we can look at ourselves objectively.  You can step outside of yourself and correct what needs to be correcting.

But it’s easier not to

Self harm is not necessarily about cutting, punching, or physical injury that you inflict on yourself.  It is any self-destructive, negative behavior.  When these things become habits, the road back is long and hard…and it’s easier to stay at the bottom than climb the hill.

Don’t do it.  Fight the urge to crumble and coast.  Live to your potential and that becomes a habit as well.  Learn to fight and resist and you will become an expert at overcoming problems.

Things are never so bad that they can’t improve.

Be careful what you get used to.

About the Author: Josh Hanagarne is the twitchy giant behind World’s Strongest Librarian, a blog about living with Tourette’s Syndrome, book recommendations, buying pants when you’re 6’8”, old-time strongman training, kettlebells, and much more. Please subscribe to Josh’s RSS Updates to stay in touch.

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